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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The Bachelor


I have had a somewhat different lifestyle the past several days.

No, we have not moved into a tent, we have not hit the lottery, and I am still waiting for the Publisher's Clearing House people to show up with the big cardboard check and balloons.

However, my Lovely Bride has been in Virginia visiting our daughter and her family. Our Grand-daughter, Gwen, was to have her tonsils removed. She made it very clear this could not be done in the absence of Grandma. Heeding the Unwritten Laws of Grandmother-hood. LB headed South-east; stopping to pick up our son-in-law's Mother as well. Gwen wound up with the Grandma BOGO. 2 in the same trip.
Meanwhile, I have been living the Life of Riley.

Having never really been a bachelor ( we married between my sophomore and junior years of college), I could scarcely contain myself.
 
The first night LB was gone, I came home from work, took the dogs out, fed the dogs, took a look at the menu she had left me, and fixed myself dinner. I managed to accomplish this task without filling the house with smoke.
 
Following dinner, I wandered into the TV room to watch those programs my Lovely Bride would rather not view. You know; those guy programs; things like a bunch of goofy people trying to find Bigfoot lurking in the linen department of Wal-Mart in Northern Oregon. Or, a bunch of goofy people racing about a bunch of swamps trying to catch alligators. Of course, there is the ever popular program of a bunch of goofy people trying to cut down more trees than a second bunch of goofy people.
 
I settled in on the couch, remote in hand, anticipating an evening of mindless viewing. I awoke to the sound of Ike expressing his urgent desire to be taken outdoors. It was 10:45. I stumbled up the stairs, took the dogs out, got them fresh water, made my way to our room, and turned in from my exhausting evening of sleeping on the couch.
 
The second night, though, I was determined to really let the wild and crazy flags fly. I arrived home from work, same routine with the dogs, dinner, etc., EXCEPT... that night I grabbed my guitar and headed out the door for (wait for it).... church worship team practice! How crazy can it get?

I returned about quarter to nine, repeat routine with dogs, only now.. as well as watching TV; I also started a load of laundry! I know, I know... it is pretty hard to believe. And... I even separated the colors from the lights. Yes sirree... I know how to have fun!
 
Friday, I met some friends for a fish-fry at one of the local churches. You know what I did?
I went back for seconds on the baked cod! Oh yeah, baby!!

Then, after the fry, I came home, took care of the dogs (do you pickup a pattern here?) then changed to go up to our daughter Shannon's and Eric's home for a backyard fire with my best buddy, Jim O. I really pushed the envelope this time; I left my phone at home on the charger!! No texts or calls for me!! Take that!!
Talk about crazy times! There I was, with my daughter, son-in-law, two grand-children, and my best friend of decades; who has served on Deacon Boards with me....wow! It was so wild, we called it a night about 11!
 
The weekend arrived...certainly, this is the time for wild and off the wall stuff. Saturday morning found me arising about 6:30, in order to (guess what) take care of the dogs, have breakfast, then depart for a day of adventure and intrigue. At 8:25, the Jeep turned into Shannon's drive to rendezvous with our grandson. We were spending the morning partaking of Easter egg hunts. It doesn't get much nuttier than accompanying a four year old to one of these! And we descended upon TWO of them! I nearly burst with giddiness upon seeing the Easter Bunny!

After returning said grandson to his home a few hours later, I stopped home to …. yeah, you got it.
I also did more laundry, then off to get a birthday gift for our granddaughter Delaney who was turning 10.

Following a stop to our daughter Char's house for Delaney's birthday, I then set off for an evening of excitement and merriment. I was attending a fund-raiser for our local library system.

You have no idea the zaniness, mad-cap antics, and behavior of a roomful of librarians! It was absolutely incredible! I know this may come as a complete shock to many of you; but did you know, librarians actually partake of adult beverages? And... they even dance!
 
They danced in the most uninhibited manner to songs such as “The Chicken Dance”, and “The Hokey-Pokey”. When the Polka Pirates played “There is No Beer in Heaven”... well, the crowd went absolutely berserk! I saw one librarian, whom I have known for many years, shamelessly take off her shoes!!
 
Finally, eleven o'clock found me coming through the door. Yeah, dogs, steps, bed time. Sunday morning I awoke raring to go.... off to church. I spent Sunday afternoon hanging close to home, getting ready for work on Monday.
 
In the midst of all this ribald activity I have managed to feed the fish twice a day, water the plants, get the mail from the box, take out the garbage, pay the bills, get up for work, go to work, stay at work, come straight home from work.
 
I have discovered several interesting things as well. I have had a hard time sleeping. I miss hearing my Lovely Bride's gentle breathing beside me. I miss reaching over to stroke her side or arm; content in having her beside me . I miss giving her a hug when I come in, discussing our days, and hearing of all her many busy activities.
 
All in all, I guess I would have made a pretty lousy bachelor.
I even put the seat back down....sigh.....

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