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Thursday, February 28, 2013

End of February

I awoke this morning with a sense of lightness in my heart.
A sense that all was NOT wrong with the world, the Sun will shine, and flowers will bloom again.
Even as snow flakes drifted onto my follicle challenged head, I was oddly up-beat.
I puzzled over this rare sense of joy.
Suddenly... it dawned upon me.
Today is the End of February!!
Oh Hallelujah!!
For being the shortest month of the year, it drags on, and on. It is appropriate that Groundhog Day is in February; it is just a never-ending continuing loop of sick-of-winter days.
Not that February ever did anything to me, personally.
And... it does try to present it's best side with Valentine's Day, Washington's and Lincoln's Birthdays.
But... it just seems like the Eddy Haskell of months. You know the type, always trying to put on best, polite, shiniest image; but still really get's under your skin.
However, there were some bright spots throughout the month
I would like to thank Kelly and Mike Good, as well as the fine staff at Cabana's in Mentor. Their wonderful, positive support of us working our ways through this Lighten Up program is HUGELY appreciated. They have provided a weekly bright spot on an otherwise fairly bleak winter landscape.
Also, Laura has been a continual cheerleader and promoter for all of us. Another bright spot in a dreary, gray, yucky month.
Cori at the Lake County Health Department for her cheerful-ness, and excellent information. Another bright spot. Lovely Bride as she continues to encourage me, to keep bringing new, tasty, healthier meals to our table, and agreeing to take this journey together.
And, the brightest spot of all: I HAVE LEFT MORE THAN 5% OF ME BEHIND IN FEBRUARY!!
Tomorrow is the first of March... that has such a happy sound!!

Monday, February 25, 2013

Survived the test

I'm back. For good or ill, I'm back.
My last entry was the trauma of facing Laura's Ultimate Scale Of Truth.

Well... I survived. The numbers are going the right way.
However, there does appear to be a discrepancy between the homefront scale, and the Official Scale.
Mine says there is 5 pounds less of me.
I am chalking this up to the time of day, (I weigh in the morning, this was evening), and additional items of apparel. One can only shed just so many things before an "issue" can result. I don't need any additonal issues in my life, believe me.

Now, the really great news.

About 6 months ago, I signed on for a research trip to Northern Pennsylvania. The purpose of said trip was to observe the social behavior of hominids taken from their usual, yet varied, environments, and transported to the mountains of the Allegheny National Forest.

The research subjects were solely males of the species. They were tasked with living in close proximate to one-another, with out the benefit (some would say "supervision") of females. Said test subjects were to provide their own meals, domestic tasks, and peacefully co-exist for a period of 3 days.

Research confirmed conventional wisdom that males, when left to themselves, will quickly devolve from "civilized people" to just a peg higher than Cro-Magnon Man. The primary differences are contemporary males have a common form of commications, verbal and non-verbal. They also prefer to cook food prior to ingesting. It was furthered observed that "cooked" is a realative term. A burger that is 10 degrees above room temperature is considered "cooked" by some. Others will find said burger somewhat "under-done".

Further, research verified that males, in such a female-free environment slip, into a state commonly referred to as "having absolutely no manners." Certain physical emanations, which would be inappropriate (especially in church), were not only accepted; they were soon esteemed as the pinnacle of hilarity. Subsequently, a sort of "competition" spontaneously broke out amongst the test subjects. It was observed that no "winner" was declared; yet none seemed to be bothered by this apparent lack of protocol.

Dietary standards tended to be somewhat relaxed. The focal point of meals was MEAT, with a liberal addition of potatoes. Oh for sure, the morning repast consisted of MEAT, with not only potatoes, but also eggs in massive quantities. The morning meal did have the addition of orange juice, however. It was agreed that such was sufficient to prevent the on-set of scurvy.

Meat came in various forms, and from various sources. All was derived from mammalian quadrepeds.
There was no avian sources provided, save the eggs. The piscatoral food group was not represented.
However, the vegetative group was present; there were tomatoes and beans in the chili. There were onions and mushrooms in the eggs. Pickled beans provided a (negligible) source of fiber.

For 3 days, our hardy subjects pressed on. It is interesting to note that a group of males is totally content to stand in 8 or so inches of snow, merely watching a fire burn. No one utters a word; yet the bond of fraternal comraderie is palpable.

Finally, the time to return to "civilization" came. Following the securing of the test site, the exchange of hearty farewells, the group split to go their different routes. Surprsingly, within 15 minutes of departing the test site, the group had an improptu reunion at the meat market. All participants had an insatiable need to take a food item called "sausages" home.
Obvioiusly, this is a carry-over from more primitive times; the desire to provide one's family with a protein source that will not spoil quickly.

This morning, I awoke in my comfy bed, beside my Lovely Bride. I stepped upon the Scale of Truth, wondering what would occur


Being a test subject does have it's benefits.

Thursday, February 21, 2013


There is something about awakening to a cold, gray February morning that makes one want to burrow deeper within the cozy confines of the blankets.
For such a short month... I declare it lingers for-ev-er... like a persistant cold.  Regardless, I pulled my self out of bed, determined to go about my day.
The trips to the gym are becoming regular. I am dropping more weight. In fact, between yesterday and today, I lost the equivalent of 4 more Quarter Pounders. :).
Perhaps this is going to be a wonderous day despite North East Ohio's climatic eccentricities.
Then.. two pivotal things occurred, in rapid succession to one another.
First, while inserting my contact lenses this morning, one decided the perfect thing to do would be to get caught. WAY up in the corner of my eye. Following much blinking, rubbing, and facial contorsions; I realized I would need the assistance of my Lovely Bride.
Being a kind, compassionate person, she arose from her slumber to assist in my time of need.
While talking about one another's upcoming day, she mentioned something which caused my blood to run cold.
"I will meet you here after work, and we can go to the weigh in together."
The Weigh In....
Oh... my....
guess what I had forgotten about?
I realized  with a start the numbers on the Scale of Truth don't mean diddly-do.
The only numbers that count are on Laura's ULTIMATE SCALE OF TRUTH.
She has the Supreme Court of Weigh-in Scales. The Final Arbitor, the Court of NO Appeals... this ain't gonna be pretty....
I wonder how many items of clothing I can shed before I get arrested....

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Over the line

Oh glorious day!
This morning, I approached the Scale of Truth.
The usual routine... flashing lights, blah, blah, blah.
For being such a smart-aleck machine, you'd  think it would devise a new schtick.
I got on, eyes scrunched close, silently bemoaning the All-you-can-Inhale buffet in Amish Country.
Certainly, the 1/2 pound of cheese I keep from spoiling every night can't have any negative impact.
After all, it is a great source of calcium.
Following a brief, heart-felt prayer, I opened one eye.... just a sliver. There it was.
The equivalent of EIGHT Quarter Pounders ("weight before cooking") had slipped away!
To quote the Patriach of a duck call making  family, I was "Happy, happy, happy."
Yes, today marked my third day back at the gym. Yes, I actually worked out, didn't just hang around watching TV.
Yes, I have been watching what I eat and drink.
Yes, the slogan by my desk "SKINNY FEELS BETTER THAN ANYTHING CAN TASTE" is true.
Except for.........
No, I will not be lured away by food. I will stay the course.
Ask not what your belly can do for you, but ask what you can do for your belly fat.
Today, the gym... tomorrow... well... the gym again.

Sunday, February 17, 2013


Yesterday, I proclaimed my desire to commit a good part of the day to writing.
I have two vignettes to write for our church Good Friday/Easter Sunday services.
I have one book manuscript about 90% complete (and my publisher looking for "final sample chapters")
And, a second book, about 60-70% complete.

Add to this a "real job", and community commitments; my time to write is very limited.
So, that being said, my Lovely Bride vaguely mentioned how nice it would be if we went to the gym together. We could work out together!
We could encourage one another,. etc, etc.
I assumed the deer-in-the-headlights look.

My intial reaction was one of "oh happy, joy, joy." Not that I don't like spending time with her; I love to spend time with her. She is the greatest lady in the world. It's just that... well... come on. Going to the gym together?  My mind flashed back to last weekend's seminar. One thing that was mentioned was being willing to do things you don't ordinarily do. Being a guy, I had NO idea going to the gym together fell into that catagory. Surprise!

After a bit of introspection, we set off together. I must admit, I was a tad reluctant. Through a good discussion we settled the issues I had.
See, I am kind of a lone wolf. However, should one have the most rudimentary knowledge of wolves, one knows they are pack animals. A lone wolf is an aberration; an out-cast. Hmmm.... maybe referring to oneself as a "lone wolf" isn't quite so romantic after all.

With a heavy heart, I approached the treadmills. I had to sheepishly admit to her I had no idea how to start the thing. I would always use the bikes. After she recovered from the shock and hilarity, my Lovely Bride set me up with a "good warm-up". Taking off with the speed set at "barely sub-sonic" and the incline set at "Matterhorn", I was on my way. She was taking a great deal of delight in watching my heart-rate numbers climb. Occasionally, with a coy girlish giggle, she would reach over and increase the speed and/or the incline. I expressed a little concern when the heart rate indicator flashed "Imminent Explosion!". With her kind, gentle manner she encouraged me to stay with it.Her words were something like "Get moving! Come on... you can do it!" Finally, the diabolical machine went into cool down mode. I felt the incline decrease. Now I know how the Space Shuttle feels, gliding into the Earth's atmoshphere at a zillion miles per hour. It was the the longest 5 minutes of my life.
We went on to the weight machines. My time to shine :)
Then prior to heading to the showers, she decided we needed to get some more cardio in. Back to the treadmills we went. This time for a half hour. I made a mental note to make certain my insurance policy is paid up.
We began to walk... and to walk.... and walk. Approximately 12 minutes in, my right calf began to tighten up; the pre-lude to a Charley Horse. Then, my thigh began to cramp. My Lovely Bride saw something was not right; I told her about the cramping. I mentioned that I was about to ditch this and hit the sauna. Rather, she suggested I slow down the pace and reduce the incline. This made about as much sense as telling someone who just smacked their hand with a hammer to do it again, only not quite so hard. Yet, being the good sport I am; I took her advice. And, you know what?? After about 4 minutes, the pain and tightness were gone! I picked up the pace, raised the incline, and continued on. To the end.
It was later I did something fairly difficult to do. I thanked her for being there and encouraging me, telling her if she hadn't been there, I would have called it quits. She was pleasantly surprised, and grateful for my sharing that with her.
Just do me a favor, okay?? Don't let it get around, alright? I may lose my Guy-Card.
Oh yeah...I only wrote the first part of one vignette... sigh.


Thursday, February 14, 2013


This morning, I approached my former BFF  a.k.a. The Scale of Truth.
Oh yes, the same smirk was there.
Yes, the same malevolent gloat.
Grudgingly I tapped the power button with my big toe.
I semi-interestedly stepped upon the cool surface.
With clinical detachment, I watched the dancing green lights.
And... watched the dancing green lights.
And....watched the dancing green lights some more.
Finally, the screen shouted ERROR.
Well... I can assure you, I made no error in stepping upon a scale. I may be old, but I am not feeble.
I tapped the "Set" buttong with my big toe. Again, the myriad of green lights flashed before me. Again, the digits set back to "00.00". Again I stepped upon the now, not-so-cool surface.
And.... again I watched the dancing green lights
And....again the screen shouted ERROR.
This is getting silly I thought to myself. This time I tapped the Power Button OFF. Waited impatiently about 15 it seemed, and turned it back on.
Green lights, blah, blah, blah....step on, yadda yadda yadda...
I figured this must be a message from God that I am not to weigh myself this day. Probably the sight of a tremendous loss of weight in one day would be a shock to my ticker. Don't want that to happen, especially on Valentine's Day.
With a grateful heart, I turned the little beast off, knowing there will be a day of reckoning yet to come.
But...l for the sure felt good to thumb my nose at my former BFF.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013


This morning, I did it.
I took that big step onto the Scale of Truth.
Up 2 pounds.
Since I have begun to grow a beard (something to do, bored with shaving) I can only assume this gain is due entirely to the increasing amount of hair upon my face.

It is utterly inconceivable this gain could be from my reckless abandon at the all-you-can-stuff-in-your-face-buffet. Surely half a dozen pieces of fried chicken could NOT have done this!

I have been giving this matter a great deal to thought today. I pondered it as I scarfed down my banana, and tangerines I packed for lunch. I contemplated the tiny,  miniscule, can't-keep-a-bird-alive amount of food I had consumed since Monday. After a great deal of ruminating; I have reached a conclusion.

Who would have ever thought whiskers can weigh so much!
Those poor guys in ZZ Top or on Duck Dynasty!
They must have HUGE neck muscles, just to hold their heads up!

I can only say the price of looking cool(er) is great; I will have to bear the extra 2 pounds with dignity and honor.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Something to relate to

My Forbidden Things
(to the tune of My Favorite Things)

Pizza and donuts
and cookies and sundaes;

Bratwurst and cheesecake;
and French toast with honey,

Hot greasy fries, and huge chili dogs,

These are a few of my Forbidden Things

When my stomach, starts to grumble,
keeping me awake,
the very last thing that I want to have is a
wheatgerm-mango shake!

Snickers and Chunkies,
Fried cheese on a stick,
Ice cold soda, a salty French Dip
Mayo and bacon and Boston Creme Pie...

yes these are few of my
Forbidden Things!!

© J.E. Hopkins,

The Amish Effect

Here I am... two days after the foray to Amish Country.

Frankly, I have not mustered the courage to step upon the Scale of Truth. I know the decietful little monster will do nothing but lie to me.

It was a wonderful trip: The rolling hills covered with a light blanket of snow, crisp blue skies providing the perfect backdrop to black buggies rolling serenly along. Ahhh... :)
The Carlisle Inn of Sugarcreek is wonderful! Big, huge rooms, comfortable beds, good sized pool and hot-tub. And.... a short waddle, I mean walk, to the Dutch Valley Restaurant.

Upon entry, I quickly decided to follow the Apostle Paul's admonishen  to "buffet my body". And buffet it I did. :)
I am not going to say I went hog-wild....perhaps "completely nuts" would be a better term.
After the cursory trip through the salad bar, I determined it was time to get serious.
Glorious, golden, crisp fried chicken, dressing, ham, pot roast, corn, baked beans with pork...oh yes, the Heavens were opened and pouring out a blessing too great to contain. After three trips, I could yet contain more.

Of course, I saw several hard working Amish ladies making bread pudding, apple crisp, and cherry cobbler... I couldn't let their labor be in vain. I showed my appreciation by trying some of each. Two or three times. Finally my Lovely Bride gently mentioned I may be overdoing it. I think her exact words were something like "Good Heavens... you are going to clear off the buffet! Are you storing up for a forced march?"
Being the sensitive man that I am, I got the subtle hint, forked the last miniscule crumbs of cobbler in my face, and smiled contentedly.

Then,,,, we set out to "shop", which is a woman's euphemism for "Wandering-around-stores-looking- at stuff." Yes, I did enjoy the hand crafted wood things, I really liked the P. Graham Dunn store. They are interesting, and have enough guy oriented things to keep the average male interested. A short walk from Dunn's is Coblentz Chocolates. Did you know the friendly staff will let you sample the various chocolates? Not just a little piece cut off of a whole piece, oh no... they hand you the whole piece. I think they caught on to me though, when I kept asking for samples of just about everything in the case.
Hey, we bought a bunch also, so it was all good.

Of course no trip to Amish Country is complete with a trip to Heini's Cheese Barn. I am not even going to mention the irony of a place called "Heini's" and "cheese". I am far too mature for that. I will let the reader make any hilarious connections they would like.
If one likes cheese and jerky, and sausages... Heini's is the place! I made my way down the aisles judiciously sampling every variety. Twice. Except the yogurt cheese; that seemed too healthy to me.

Finally, evening came. In reality, five o'clock on a Saturday came, and everything closed up as if someone had pushed a "Shut her down!" button somewhere! We retired to our hotel, to take in the conference we were also attending.
Finally, late at night, after a relaxing swim and soak in the hot-tub, we went up to the room.
I made a very interesting discovery: the organizers of the conference had graciously placed a bottle of sparkling grape juice (hey, it is Amish Country) and chocolate covered strawberries in each attendees room.
Did you know that after consuming about ½ a bottle of grape juice, a humungous chocolate covered strawberry, and about a quarter pound of home-made candies, you will get a sugar rush that will keep your eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling until about 2 in the morning?

Friday, February 8, 2013

A Challenge

OK... I stare at my calendar. Feb. 9-10... Sugar Creek.
A short little get away to Amish Country, scheduled prior to our commitment to Lighten Up in 2013. It lurks there, gloating.
What had orginally been conceived of as a nice, quiet "time-for-us"  trip; now looms on the horizon as a
"Gonna-blow-your-nutrition-program" ordeal.
Let's face it; Amish, Mennonite, German,and Swiss cuisine is not especially noted for being amongst the lowest of calory type in the World. Just think "Chocolates and pastries".
Envision chicken... baked, fried, roasted, awash in rich creamy gravy, nestled along side REAL mashed potatoes, melted butter cascading down the flanks of the steaming white mound. Dressing... oh wonderful, savory dressing. Vegetables bathed in every form of milk, cream or cheese imaginable. Beef roasts, hams, more potatoes...
Then... pies... wonderful, exquisite, border-line sinful pies.
Oh sure, it is easy to delude one's self into thinking "Well, we will be walking all over Sugar Creek, Berlin, Walnut Creek. I can take on a couple (thousand) extra calories. I will burn them off in no time!" Yeah, maybe if Eli Yoder hitched ME up to the buggy instead of OI' Dobbin.
I have read, and heard, of the benefits of a "diet holiday". The idea does make a modicum of logic: if you deprive yourself of the things you love day after day, week after week; you will go "bonkers" (as behavioral  psychologists refer to it), and snarf up every Snickers, Little Debbie, doughnut, and double cheese pizza in sight.
The idea of the "diet holiday" is to indulge (to a moderate extent) in those things you have eschewed once in a while. The longing and desiring, and fixating upon, and obsessing over will be moderated. Voila! One goes happily back to the rigers of the regimen.
But... Amish Country....
I will be taking a "Diet Sabbatical"

Thursday, February 7, 2013


Isn't odd how momentous things can occur on the most average of days?
Here, with ¼ of February already gone, on a non-descript Thursday, I had a momentous occurance.

This morning, I readied my self for the Scale of Truth.
It snickered at me, a smirk on it's shiny surface.
"Come on, Fat-boy...let's see whatcha got." it sneered.

First left foot, then right foot; feeling the coolness of the chrome on my tootsies.



Take, THAT, Scale!


Another barrier shattered!!
Oh yeah... this is gonna be a very good day..

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A Great Place!

A perk of taking part in the News-Herald's Lighten-up contest is the generosity of the good folks at Cabana's Restaurant on Mentor Ave.
They have graciously offered FREE (as in F-R-E-E) dinners every Tuesday in February to participants.
The catch: must order from the Lean Menu.

My Lovely Bride and I had never been to Cabana's before. We decided to take them up on the deal.
Afterall, if we were still hungry, we pass a plethora of fast food places on Mentor Avenue on the way home to placate our protesting stomachs.

We were pleasantly surprised by the bright, cheerful Tropical colors and feel. Especially so on a typcial non-tropical Northeast Ohio February evening.

We were greeted warmly by a friendly hostess, who led us to a spacious table near the large window.
We were shortly greeted by our server; a very pleasant, cheerful young lady. We mentioned our trip as part of Lighten-up. Turns out, we were not alone! There were several other contestants in attendence as well.

We were directed to the "Lean Menu"... Uh Oh... I thought. Here it comes... canned tuna on a bed of iceburg lettuce with a limp wedge of tomatoe.

Was I ever wrong! There before us danced a dozen tempting chicken, seafood, and beef (YES!! BEEF) dishes. We actually had to wrestle with the choices before ordering; everything looked so good.
My Lovely Bride opted for the Pesto/Parmesan Filet (OF BEEF!! YES!!) with broccoli, and roasted red-skin potatoes. I chose the Shrimp Italiano, over linguine, served with a green bean, carrot and yellow bean medley.

Still... this was "lean" and "light" cuisine. Mine was only 450 calories. How good can it be?
Also, Lean and Light automatically connotate "dry, bland, b-o-r-i-n-g". After a few minutes our server arrived with a tray laden with 4 meals for the group of ladies seated behind us. Glancing over, this stuff looked pretty good.....
Soon, it was our moment.
As someone who is really hip would tweet             OHHH EMMM GEEE....

The filet was thick, juicy, done perfectly. The pesto and Parmasan provided a full, rich flavor that needed no additional salt or pepper. The (itty-bitty, teeny-weeny) taste I had was superb! I had to take my Lovely Bride's word that the potatoes were excellent, as I didn't get a chance to try those.

My shrimp were outstanding. Very, very flavorful, sauteed perfectly. The blending of flavors, spices, and white wine was exquisite. The linguine was al dente (my favorite), the veggies were very tasty, not bland or boring.

Pleased?? That is an understatement. We have a new Favorite Place, regardless of the day of the week.

I would encourage readers to visit Cabana's. Mike and Kelly Good will make certain your visit is memorable.

Oh yeah... we didn't visit any of the joints on Mentor Ave. We were quite satisfied. :)

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

red beans & rice

Yesterday, I was feeling rather "yucky". So yucky, I even came home from work early.
My Lovely Bride was somewhat surprised to hear me come through the door. I perfunctorily announced my intentions of heading promptly to bed.
About 6 in the evening, I was awakened by the fragrance of simmering garlic, onion,green pepper  and other spices. I opened one eye, trying to discern the source of such a wonderful aroma.
From down stairs, my Lovely Bride called "Do you feel well enough for red beans and rice?"
Asking a red-neck if they are well enough to have red beans and rice is like asking a duck if it feels well enough for a swim.
I quickly donned appropriate apparel, and lumbered ( I don't float or skip) down the stairs.
There, on the stove, simmering away... Backwoods Antibiotic!
Red beans, rice, onions, garlic, green peppers, some cayenne peppers, bay leaves... ahhhh....
And... slices of smoked sausage swimming in the midst of it all!
A couple plates later, I was feeling great!
And... despite my day of sluggard like inactivity... I didn't gain anything!
Must be another positive side effect of red beans & rice.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Holding my own

Whew... the Super Bowl is over. I can now sleep easily knowing who it was that got the Coca-Cola!
The chili was excellant, the layered dip was addictive.... and.... the Scale of Truth awaited.
With a sardonic chuckle, the Scale awaited my arrival. It is rather un-nerving to hear one's scale chuckle. Still, I suppose stranger things have been know to happen.
Tentatively, my big toe pressed the Power button. I nervously stepped upon the gleaming glass and chrome device. The now familiar dance of the green lights completed their performance.
I stared at the numerals before me.
No change, no gain!
HAAA!! Take THAT, Scale of Truth!!
The sardonic chuckle had transformed into a snivling whimper.
Quite satisfied, I commenced to start my day.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

On the brink

Here it is; Super Bowl Sunday... all the good food, the camaraderie, the festivities.
Except, my Lovely Bride and I are keepin' it down-low. Hangin' at home, waiting for the next commercial, and hunkering down.

Yesterday, upon stepping upon the Scale of Truth; I was pleased to see another 16 ounces of "too much James" had gone away. Suddenly, I was only TWO POUNDS away from dropping into the next weight level!
Saturday was a church leadership retreat, which means my derriere got an ample workout, keeping my chair from floating away to the stratosphere. Then, a wonderful luncheon of hoagies, chips and a cookie.
Very tasty stuff, yet not the absolute best choice for a weight loss regimen. I did give my chips to one of our Pastors, they are all skinny and can use the extra sodium and fat. I mean, I wanted to share my bounty with my brother. Yeah, that's it.

Today, the Scale of Truth stared malevolently (as malevolently as a machine can) from the bathroom floor. Perhaps, if I were permanently assigned to the bathroom floor, my expression would be malevolent as well.

The flashing green figures mockingly danced before me. The digits took on form and substance: 201.

I didn't drop; yet neither did I can. I would say all in all, this was a good report.

Now... Super Bowl Sunday... the aromas of my Lovely Bride's chili, a "healthy, low-fat" (uh-huh) layered dip is nearing final assembly.
A bag of low-salt tortilla chips awaits.....

Let's hope today proves to be a draw as well.

Oh the only thing I know is "GO BUCKS!"

Friday, February 1, 2013

Crossing the line

Have you ever had a euphoric moment?

Her answer was "Yes" when you popped The Question.
When you hit one over the fence, in the bottom of the ninth, to win the big game.
When your children are born.

If so, you then can relate to my emotions today.

Yes, on an otherwise ordinary Friday, with Lake Effect Snow slashing in, I had a euphoric moment.

I stepped upon the Scale of Truch this morning.
Staring absent mindedly at the array of flashing lights as the little monster calculated my weight, I awaited the verdict.

Wait....WHAT is that number??
I looked again.
Could it be??


A shaft of golden light pierced the ceiling, settling upon the shining green digits.
A chorus of angelic voices filled the room. A full symphony played the opening bars of "Halleluhia Chorus."
I was surprised my Lovely Bride didn't awaken, from all the racket.

There it was.... confirming a very significant fact.


I was giddy as a schoolboy, happy as a lark, light as a (pretty good-sized) feather!

I decided to reward myself.
Do you think a double bacon, sausage, egg, wrap with extra fried potatoes will have a bad effect?

Just kidding. I shared my joy with our dog, splitting a breakfast banana with her. She was nearly euphoric as well.