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Sunday, September 1, 2013

Where ya been?

Many of you have asked “Hey, Jim! We haven’t seen any blogs lately! What’s up, Dude?”, or words to that effect.
It is not that I have been living in a cave lately. Quite the contrary, things have been very busy. It is the nature of the busy-ness that I will not write about.
I have made a commitment to not be another political commentary blog. The Good Lord knows we have more than enough of those.  So, what has that to do with material for this site, you may ask. Plenty. Mucho plenty.
You see, my Lovely Bride is a candidate for Mayor of our city. There are two others running, which necessitates a primary election in 3 weeks. Ergo, the vast majority of my out-of-work time has been taken with election related functions. Or, if not so engaged, my time has been spent in picking up the slack around the old homestead; doing laundry, dishes, taking care of the livestock.  While it may sound extremely glamorous and exciting, sorting the darks from the lights and towels from delicates becomes pretty mundane.
Do you have any idea what it is like to come home from work, stare into the refrigerator seeking  inspiration for dinner, shut the door in frustration, only to open it again in the vain hope things have somehow re-arranged themselves, and a gourmet meal is mere minutes away? Of course not, that only happens to me.
Have you ever had that feeling of resignation when you come to the conclusion it is going to be chicken again, for the 12th time this week?
And the dogs… I cannot for the life of me understand what compels a canine to be taken outdoors, spend 20 or so minutes wandering aimlessly around Creation, only to return to the house and promptly pee on the kitchen floor. Lovely Bride has repeatedly told me they never do that for her. It must be a special little display of affection shared only with me. Ya-hoo.
Oh to be sure, not all my spare time has been spent in such fascinating pursuits. I have also been an attendee at various campaign planning meetings. These are interesting sessions. Imagine if you will, a roomful of Type-A over-achievers all sharing their perspective, ideas, and thoughts at the same time. A person with OCD feels as if they are attending a support group for sufferers of Attention Deficit Disorder. 
Great strategies are planned, ideas solidified, and wheels set in motion. I would like to share some of these with you, but I can’t. It is not that I am not permitted; I can’t remember much of what is going on. I have enough to keep track of without cluttering up my head with campaign details.
Being as this is a non-political column, I would never say anything like my Lovely Bride’s two opponents are a couple of meat-heads. That would be completely out of order. Nor would I ever state they have the competency of a chimpanzee repairing a diesel engine. And, far be it from me to ever question their character. No siree…not in my column.  Let others stoop to such shallowness. I refuse to.
So, back to the things which have been impacting me recently:  Did you know Wisk has a new liquid detergent designed to “bust body oils and perspiration.”? It seems to work pretty well, too. Oh, I have noticed the Wally World brand of dryer sheets work just as well as the national brand, and you get more in the box for less money! Talk about a no-brainer!
Palmolive and Dawn dish soap are pretty much neck and neck, as far as cleaning and keeping one’s hands from drying out. It is purely a matter of personal choice which one is preferred. I happen to like the Palmolive with Olay hand renewal additives. It has a nice fragrance, too.
I have discovered I hate vacuuming. Every time I fire that bad boy up, I start to sneeze my fool head off. Someone mentioned needing to change the bag; but I have as of yet to find any bags hanging off the thing.  Any tips about this will be greatly appreciated.
Oh, I have also learned that when Ike begins to become (ahem) flatulent; that is his way of saying “I gotta go!” Failure to respond in a prompt manner will result in responding to something you would rather not respond to.
Such is the life of a Political Spouse.  We are so much more than mere Arm Candy.
When LB wins, do you think “First Dude” would be a good title??

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