Sunday, April 7, 2013
HAPPY SCALES TO YOU
It is well known there are phrases which can result in panic, elevated heart rates, and a sense of total abandonment.
Some of these phrases are:
"Hello, I am from the IRS."
"Dear, we need to finish that spare bedroom. We are going to need it in about 8 months."
"The parts aren't much, but it is about 4 hours of labor"
"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
And…. Three Little Words guaranteed to elicit a deer-in-the-headlights look:
"WEIGH IN DAY"
Such was my response Saturday when my Lovely Bride reminded me of our obligation. Being in the throes of a pneumonia relapse, there were very few things I would have rather not heard than those words.
Dutifully, I dragged myself from my cozy place, to begin preparations for the trek to Concord. We did have a bit of a debate regarding the time to converge upon L.E.A.N. Living to face Laura's Ultimate Scale of Truth.
In order to prepare for the harsh reality of the Little Red Fiend (as I have come to refer to her scale), I stepped upon the Scale of Truth. Oh happy, joy, joy! The equivalent of 12 Quarter Pounders below 200 pounds; Life is good.. With a song in my heart, I came down stairs.
We arrived at L.E.A.N. Living, having passed one of Mr. Gobbles' cousins at Crile and Auburn Roads, to a sparsely occupied parking lot. Hmmm…. I guess one of us (I won't be as gauche as to say whom) was correct about this requirement beginning at Noon.
Undeterred, we sauntered through the doors. There, we were greeted by none other than Jamie Brenkus himself. Yes, "Mr. 8 Minute Abs" himself.
We had yet to meet Jamie. In fact, I was beginning to think he was a mythic being, solely concocted to market health and fitness products. Kind of like the Hannah Montana of the Fitness World. No, here he was. After a hurried salutation, ( I did have a bottle of water on the ride….) I was able to return and chat briefly with him.
Upon realizing our minor faux pas of being 90 minutes early, he stated that was fine. I was hoping he would announce "Reprieved!", and send us upon our merry way. Not quite… rather he cheerily retrieved the Little Red Fiend, a pad of paper, & pen.
Well…this wasn't quite what I was hoping for.
With a smile he invited us to step upon the scale, he would tell Laura our numbers. Being the bold, courageous, brave husband I am, I deferred to my Lovely Bride. With a sigh of relief, she exclaimed the numbers were the same as at home. My spirits thus buoyed, I stepped up. Not bad, not bad at all. When I mentioned to Jamie it was more than at home, he said that is fine; overall, it is down. In fact, he was quite supportive. When he found out about my recent malady; he was impressed my weight was down at all. During our conversation, my frustration at not being able to exercise was mentioned. His words of wisdom for me:
"Don't Rush It!! Let your body tell you when it is ready. Listen to your body."
By mid afternoon, I was back in my cozy place, the gentle waves of slumber rolling over me.
Hey! Who am I to argue with America's Premier weight-loss trainer and coach?