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Saturday, April 27, 2013


The show-down at High Noon came a tad early. As my Lovely Bride has a community obligation at 12:45 today, we were able to plead our case, and be weighed early.
Yes, the Evil Red Scale was there; with a malevolent sneer upon its cool, immovable visage. It glared at us, mocking, taunting. "Come on, Big Boy, let's see what you got! Wait... I know what you got... TOO MUCH OF YOU.HAAHAAAHAAA!" No one likes a wise-cracking scale early on a Saturday morning.
I emptied my pockets and removed my shoes. After some goading, I did acquiesce and removed my shirt. I hope the ladies present don't tell Jaime; I don't want the poor boy to feel badly. One attendee advocated removing my belt as well. Knowing that would not have a real good outcome, I passed on that suggestion.
Lovely Bride and I looked at one another, silently daring the other to go first. I knew she had NO WORRIES, she has been doing fantastic! I steeled my nerves and stepped upon the cool, smirking, surface of the little red monster. I gazed at the number.
Quickly, I did the math in my head. My degree is in History with an English minor; so I am still doing the math, but others in attendance stated I had passed the 5% barrier. I will have to take their word for it. That whole "take away" and "point this, point that" thing… it is ridiculous. Speaking as a Historian; the original practice of lining up sticks or stones to count the number of mastodons in a field still works fine. Oh sure, there may have been some who quibbled that a young mastodon didn't count as a whole mastodon and probably insisted upon breaking a stick in half; but overall it worked quite nicely.
The problem arose when early man tried to transport their counting systems. It was quickly discovered the entire village was needed to carry everything out to the field so Borj can count mastodons. Poor ol' Borj soon found himself being left out of invitations to fire making parties. No one asked him to join in a fun evening of chipping spear points
It was due to filling a deep social need the hunting and farming cultures combined. Borj discovered he had a lot more friends when he exchanged his sticks and stones for dried beans. Hence, he became the first bean-counter known to mankind.
But, I digress.
Yes, I have vanquished the Ultimate Scale of Truth. I thank you all for your support and prayers over the past couple of days.
Lovely Bride and I continue on this journey as a couple, supporting one another. I am looking forward to it. 

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