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Thursday, March 14, 2013

How to Scuttle Your Weight Loss Program

I am certain several of the remaining participants have been secretly asking "How do I get free of the regimen?"
While moi has not been pondering such a weighty (pun fully intended) matter, I am quite certain others have.
In a ironic little of twist of Providential Intervention, I can now pass on a very full-proof means by which to toss the proverbial monkey wrench in the works.
Le Gran Sabot, as our Gallic friends would say.
Other acronyms of military origin are also applicable. I will allow the reader the joy of discovery with these.

"How does one trash weeks of discipline, diet, and sensible living?" you anxiously ask.
It is quite simple.

Obtain a good case of double pneumonia.
It is quite interesting how the deep-seated, primal desire to breath usurps any frivolous desire to lose weight.
Suddenly, the calorie content and grams of fat contained in a bowl of chicken noodle soup become somewhat negligible.
To loosely (very loosely) apply Henry David Thoreau: "Simplify, simplify".... Life don't much more simple than air going in, and air coming out.( Aside... isn't it interesting how a guy who lived long before electricity, cell phones, inter-net, blah,blah, blah bemoaned how complex life was? He would have gone over the edge in today's world.)
While to the absurdly optimistic person, the various wheezes, squeaks, and whistles which emanate are similar to an out of tune bag-pipe, the entertainment value wears thin fairly quickly.

However, following a trip to my very capable physician, Dr. Ciotti, a few prescriptions, and rest; I no longer feel as if I was hit by a freight train. I now feel as if I had been hit by a bus. I guess that is an improvement.
 I am upright and able to take nourishment. And with deepest heart-felt thanks to my Lovely Bride, it has been very tasty, healthy, and substantative nourishment.  Once again, proving the truth of Proverbs 31:10  "An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels."

Today pneumonia... next week... the weight loss!!
Viva La Nutritional Plan !!



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