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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

The Amish Effect

Here I am... two days after the foray to Amish Country.

Frankly, I have not mustered the courage to step upon the Scale of Truth. I know the decietful little monster will do nothing but lie to me.

It was a wonderful trip: The rolling hills covered with a light blanket of snow, crisp blue skies providing the perfect backdrop to black buggies rolling serenly along. Ahhh... :)
The Carlisle Inn of Sugarcreek is wonderful! Big, huge rooms, comfortable beds, good sized pool and hot-tub. And.... a short waddle, I mean walk, to the Dutch Valley Restaurant.

Upon entry, I quickly decided to follow the Apostle Paul's admonishen  to "buffet my body". And buffet it I did. :)
I am not going to say I went hog-wild....perhaps "completely nuts" would be a better term.
After the cursory trip through the salad bar, I determined it was time to get serious.
Glorious, golden, crisp fried chicken, dressing, ham, pot roast, corn, baked beans with pork...oh yes, the Heavens were opened and pouring out a blessing too great to contain. After three trips, I could yet contain more.

Of course, I saw several hard working Amish ladies making bread pudding, apple crisp, and cherry cobbler... I couldn't let their labor be in vain. I showed my appreciation by trying some of each. Two or three times. Finally my Lovely Bride gently mentioned I may be overdoing it. I think her exact words were something like "Good Heavens... you are going to clear off the buffet! Are you storing up for a forced march?"
Being the sensitive man that I am, I got the subtle hint, forked the last miniscule crumbs of cobbler in my face, and smiled contentedly.

Then,,,, we set out to "shop", which is a woman's euphemism for "Wandering-around-stores-looking- at stuff." Yes, I did enjoy the hand crafted wood things, I really liked the P. Graham Dunn store. They are interesting, and have enough guy oriented things to keep the average male interested. A short walk from Dunn's is Coblentz Chocolates. Did you know the friendly staff will let you sample the various chocolates? Not just a little piece cut off of a whole piece, oh no... they hand you the whole piece. I think they caught on to me though, when I kept asking for samples of just about everything in the case.
Hey, we bought a bunch also, so it was all good.

Of course no trip to Amish Country is complete with a trip to Heini's Cheese Barn. I am not even going to mention the irony of a place called "Heini's" and "cheese". I am far too mature for that. I will let the reader make any hilarious connections they would like.
If one likes cheese and jerky, and sausages... Heini's is the place! I made my way down the aisles judiciously sampling every variety. Twice. Except the yogurt cheese; that seemed too healthy to me.

Finally, evening came. In reality, five o'clock on a Saturday came, and everything closed up as if someone had pushed a "Shut her down!" button somewhere! We retired to our hotel, to take in the conference we were also attending.
Finally, late at night, after a relaxing swim and soak in the hot-tub, we went up to the room.
I made a very interesting discovery: the organizers of the conference had graciously placed a bottle of sparkling grape juice (hey, it is Amish Country) and chocolate covered strawberries in each attendees room.
Did you know that after consuming about ½ a bottle of grape juice, a humungous chocolate covered strawberry, and about a quarter pound of home-made candies, you will get a sugar rush that will keep your eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling until about 2 in the morning?

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